Mitch Blum

Destroyer of Words

Mitch Blum header image 3

Writing

For many years I have flooded the virtual world with essays of grace and significance.  And jokes.  So many jokes.  Here you will find an archive of some of my personal favorites.

While pretty much everything that I write falls under the general heading of “humor” (or “humor, attempted”) some things defy categorization.

In My Time of Dining
A Handy Guide to Choosing the Perfect Mode of Transportation When Traveling Away from Home
A Handy Guide to Choosing the Perfect Place to Stay When Traveling Away from Home
The 5 Stages of the Company Holiday Party
Secrets of the Admiral’s Club Revealed
In Search of a Fancy Title?
Has the Time Come for Polygamy at Work?
When I Spot a Businessman with a Metal Attache Case
The Modern Etiquette Guide to Physical Greeting Gestures
A List of People I Don’t Mess With
FAQ: “Fat Boy Shuffle”
Old Man in the Mustang
Getting Old Ain’t Hard to Do
Having a Fine Time Doing Time
Freaky Friday Presents: My Psychic Gift
Posts That Could Have or Shouldn’t Have Been
Are We Really Still Bothering With NASA?
Will the World Finally Come to an End Already?
Can We Just Give Hawaii and Alaska Back Already?
An Open Letter to People Who Write Open Letters
Francophile or Francophobe? Take the Test and Find Out!
Return to Sender
Puzzling Behavior
But Wait…There’s More!

Album reviews, concert reviews and random thoughts about music:

The Classic Album Project:

The Classic Album Project: Introduction
The Classic Album Project: The Flying Burrito Bros (1971)

The Black Crowes Album Project:

My Magnus Crowepus
The Black Crowes Album Project: Introduction
Shake Your Money Maker (1990)
The Southern Harmony & Musical Companion (1992)
Amorica (1994)
Three Snakes & One Charm (1996)
By Your Side (1999)
Lions (2001)
The Lost Crowes: The Tall Sessions (2006)
A Conversation (not a review) about The Black Crowes’ “Before the Frost…Until the Freeze)

Lists & Essays:

Don’t Bother Arguing: Led Zeppelin is the Greatest Band in Rock & Roll History
Album Review: Mark Karan’s “Walk Through the Fire” (2009)
Recommendation: Teargarden by Kaleidyscope
I Hate, John Mayer!
The Curious Case of a Band Called Ambrosia, the World’s Only Three-Hit Wonder
3 Rock & Rollers that Should Stop Rocking
Top 12 Gram Parsons’ Songs
Is it a Good Idea for Bobby & Phil to go Furthur?
Top 5 Bob Dylan Songs by Decade
Top 10 Grateful Dead Studio Songs
Favorite Album by Decade
Dear Michael McDonald

Concert Reviews:

Furthur, 3/4/11
The Black Crowes, 8/27/09
Steely Dan, 7/24/09
The Black Crowes, 6/19/09
The Dead, 4/18/09
Ryan Adams & the Cardinals, 2/21/09
Bob Weir & Ratdog, 11/8/08
The Black Crowes, 10/17/08
The Black Crowes, 3/5/08
Phil Lesh & Friends, 10/10/07
Bob Weir & Ratdog, 7/10/07
Bob Weir & Ratdog, 3/13/07
Bob Weir & Ratdog, 11/10/06
Boz Scaggs, 8/17/06
The Black Crowes, 7/18/06
Phil Lesh & Friends, 7/6/06

The city I love has inspired many essays over the years.

Boston Living:

9 Great Ideas for Filling the Filene’s Hole in Boston (10/11/11)
Hubway Bicycles: Urban Transportation Miracle or the Devil’s Plaything? (9/10/11)
What Your Train Says About You (Boston Edition)
Riding the Rails, Boston-style
How to Drive Like you’re from Boston
Strangers I Love: Old Man Jogger
Strangers I Love: Jesus Is Lord Guy
In Defense of Jaywalking in Boston
The Boston Cab Driver’s Quick Starter Guide

While music (from 1972) is my primary obsession, I like writing about TV and movies and stuff, too.

Stop Breaking Down: What the Cars on Breaking Bad Reveal About the True Nature of the Characters
Summer Television Viewing Guide
I’m Glad Shark Week is Over
In Defense of Scrappy Doo
How to Stay Famous
An Englishman in New York, or the Hugh Grant Approach to Movie Reviews
So You Think You Can Be a Television Critic?
Magnum, P.I.’s Short Shorts and the Golden Age of Television

I started eating solid food while still in the hospital. Obviously that makes me quite the expert on food and drink. Take that, Frank Bruni.

In Defense of (Shitty) American Beer
A Truffle Scuffle, or The Most Dangerous Word in the English Language
Rating the Snack Cakes
In Defense of (Fake) Food
I know Your Secret, Crappy New York Diners
Hey James Beard, what’s with all of the Awards?

I’m better at making jokes about sports than I am at playing sports, which proves that sometimes the apple rolls pretty far away from the tree.

The State of the Professional Sports Union
2010 World Cup Handicapping for the Non-Football Fan
The Red Sox Fan’s Guide to Delivering Snappy Responses to Yankees Fans if (when) the Yankees win the World Series
The NHL-NASCAR Merger: Not As Crazy As You Might Think
The Boston Sports Fan’s Guide to Choosing a Jersey
Help Make Competitive Sleeping an Olympic Event
The Truth About Men & Sports
Fight Club Discovered North of Boston

While I’ve never been accused of being fashionable I come from a long line of garmentos.

The Jewfro Monologues
A Beard’s Life
Exposing the Dry Cleaning Myth
Introducing…the Work Short
Some Not-So-Crazy Fashion Advice
You Wear It Well
My Secret Life as as ’80s Radical