Mitch Blum

Destroyer of Words

Mitch Blum header image 2

Damn Kids Today Don’t Respect Juice Enough

June 17th, 2013 · 156 Comments · Food

Nothing makes me crazier than when I see a kid (perhaps my own) take a giant cup and fill it to the brim with 44 ounces of orange juice. Don’t these kids realize that juice is a precious commodity? It isn’t called “liquid gold” for nothing, you know.

When I was a kid juice was a treat. On the rare occasion we were given a splash it would be served in a special glass – a juice glass – that was basically an over-sized shot glass. And it would cost at least $3.95 for the privilege. No one ever complained, however, because we knew how lucky we were just to taste the fruit of the branch.

I knew how hard juice was to extract because my grandparents in Florida had a hand juicer. And it would take 14 oranges, 20 minutes and a case of carpal tunnel just to get a thimble-full. Remember when people would bring those giant mesh bags of oranges home from vacation? That would produce maybe one glass of juice, if you were lucky.

Now kids’ll callously pour a year’s supply, take two sips and throw away the rest. If I see this about to happen I swoop in and rescue that juice like it was a puppy in a burning building, bellowing “DON’T WASTE THE PRECIOUS!” like some Semitic Smeagol.

My theory is that this is the unintended consequence of OJ Simpson’s stabby stabby episode. He didn’t just ruin his name, he ruined respect for juice.


156 Comments so far ↓


    walking posture is very important, long time no burden on the correct walking posture can cause joint, and muscle aches. Related sports experts pointed out that

  • Her Telecharger

    I was able to find good info from your blog posts.

    Feel free to surf to my site … Her Telecharger

  • hotmail hack

    Each key is differentiated by the sound it makes, providing
    the computer hacker with valuable password and userids.
    Fans saw Bruce move into a home in Malibu away from the Jenner family home on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” which sparked rumors about the separation long before
    it was announced. This means that student and faculty records are at risk.

    Feel free to surf to my website hotmail hack

  • ブランド偽物時計

    N級スーパーコピー時計,ブランド時計コピー,ブランド偽物時計激安通販専売店: スーパーコピーオーデマピゲ(AudemarsPiguet),人気オーデマピゲコピー時計,オーデマピゲ偽物時計:

  • progi zwalniajace

    This is the appropriate weblog for anyone who
    desires to seek out out about this topic. You understand a lot its virtually
    arduous to argue with you (not that I really would need…HaHa).
    You positively put a brand new spin on a topic thats been written about for years.
    Great stuff, just nice!


    All the way through its existence, the Porsche Boxster, has been Porsche AG’s smallest and least costly jeu car product which translates to
    combining fashion and panache with affordability.
    The various models of limos featured online on sale are Audi Q7 limo, 4×4 limos, Porsche Cayenne, Range Rover, Ferrari
    limo and Hummer limo. This article has been flagged as spam, if you think this
    is an error please contact us.