I have a confession to make.
I know that you’re not going to like this, but I need to get it off my chest: I hate Scooby Doo. I honestly believe that Scooby Doo (both the dog and the show) is the worst popular cartoon in existence. The mysteries are stupid. The characters are boring. It’s not even slightly funny, hence the need for a laugh track. I can’t fathom why people like the show. I really can’t fathom why I married someone who likes the show.
I have a worse confession to make.
I know that you’re really not going to like this, but I’m tired of living a lie: I love Scrappy Doo. He is, by far, the best and most interesting character in the Scooby Doo universe. I don’t understand why people dislike him.
Actually, I do know why people hate Scrappy Doo. They think that he’s the “Cousin Oliver” of Scooby Doo and his carefully calculated addition to the cast ruined the show. Counter-point: Unlike pre-Oliver Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo was already a terrible show and the addition of Scrappy made the show marginally better. Rather than thinking of him as a Cousin Oliver type, I prefer to think of him as a (less-gay) Steve Perry type, who saved a floundering Journey and drove them to their greatest artistic achievements.
Things I like about Scrappy Doo:
1) He’s not an addict. Unlike the two cowards Scooby and Shaggy, Scrappy doesn’t need the promise of a quick hit to solve a mystery or enter a foreboding locale. Scrappy is tough without the junk.
2) He’s a bad ass. Scrappy brings the ruckus. He’s neither afraid of supernatural creatures nor handymen that dress up as supernatural creatures. Scrappy will kick your ass without thinking twice. One of his catchphrases is: “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” No equivocation there: Scrappy is always ready to rumble and he’s confident that he’s going to win.
3) He’s an empowering role model for children. Even as the smallest member of the Mystery, Inc. gang he’s still the strongest, the bravest and the second smartest (behind Velma). Most important of all, he teaches our children the valuable life lesson that all of your problems can be solved through violence.
4) He’s got great catchphrases. In addition to the aforementioned “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” Scrappy is perhaps best known for his rousing battle cry “Ta dadada ta daaa! Puppy power!” Compare that to Scooby’s pathetic “Rut-Roh!” or Velma’s “Jinkies!” Actually, don’t compare them because Scrappy’s catchphrases are awesome and the rest are terrible.
5) I went to college with a guy named Scrappy. He was a good guy and we had some fun times together, although apparently not enough fun times for me to remember his real name. And he might have been an addict. But I’m not here to judge.
So there you have it. Scrappy Doo = Real. American. Hero.