Summer Television Viewing Guide

Alright already! I’m tired of all of you people on the street asking me what I’m watching on TV these days. Here’s my official Summer Television Viewing Guide:

Men of a Certain Age (TNT): Before this show started I couldn’t get over Scott Bakula’s ridiculous hair in the promos. Bakula’s hair is still ridiculous, but the show is definitely not. It’s one of the smartest, best written shows on TV. The leads are terrific and it’s funnier than most sitcoms and more touching than most dramas.

Game of Thrones (HBO): After a few episodes of table setting, this series really took off. It’s kind of like Lord of the Rings crossed with a softcore porn version of Lord of the Rings. And I’m officially on the record as rooting for the Lannisters, as the Starks are way too stupid to run a (sexy) kingdom.

Futurama (Comedy): Sure, Futurama 3.0 isn’t as good as the original run, but it’s still funnier than most things in the world. Plus, if you view the entire series as the ongoing adventures of Dr. John A. Zoidberg, the show takes on an epic, almost Gilgameshian quality.

Next Food Network Star (Food): I don’t understand shows like this. The whole point is to find people that are comfortable being on camera, and yet half of the contestants are horribly nervous when filming their screen tests. Don’t they have auditions? Anyway, I’m watching it, even though I don’t really like it all that much. I like to play a game at home where I have to deliver a 60 second rap about my pizza stylings as if I was on the show. So far I’m winning.

Coming soon…

True Blood (HBO): True Blood is proof that good acting isn’t required to make a good show. Featuring some of the worst Louisiana accents since Gambit joined the X-Men, True Blood excels at delivering great cliff-hangers every week, along with some fun, cartoonish villains.

Breaking Bad (AMC): Season 4 can’t start soon enough. Breaking Bad is probably the best TV show ever (yes, including The Wire) and proof that great acting can make a show great. Breaking Bad is brilliantly written and beautifully shot. Even the sound design is notably wonderful. Somehow they manage to keep the tension high every week. Flash backs, flash forwards, inventive cold opens, even the episode titles are genius.

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO): I never realized that most people root against Larry when watching the show, I’ve always viewed him as the hero. Sure, he’s a smidge obnoxious, but he’s always right and he’s always hilarious. Plus, Leon. ‘nuff said.

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