Mitch Blum

Destroyer of Words

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Entries from October 27th, 2009

The NHL-NASCAR Merger: Not As Crazy As You Might Think

October 27th, 2009 · 3 Comments · Humor, Sports

As a sports expert of sorts (and by “of sorts” I mean “not at all”) I often find myself thinking long and hard about the future of two professional sports leagues that I care little about: the National Hockey League (NHL) and National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR).
(For the record, my order of [...]

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An Open Letter to People Who Write Open Letters

October 22nd, 2009 · 6 Comments · Humor

Dear People Who Write Open Letters,
What’s your point?
I mean, I get that the “open letter” is a literary device of sorts, but it strikes me as being an exceptionally lazy literary device. It’s the equivalent of starting a presentation with: “Websters defines a ‘letter’ as a written form of communication typically between two individuals.”
In other [...]

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3 Rock & Rollers that Should Stop Rocking

October 19th, 2009 · 19 Comments · Music

Everyone loves to marvel at rock and rollers like The Rolling Stones that keep on rocking well into their golden years. But isn’t it also incumbent on us to tell certain rock and rollers when they should just give it up? I’m not talking about retirement here – I’m just saying that there are some [...]

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Francophile or Francophobe? Take the Test and Find Out!

October 15th, 2009 · 32 Comments · Humor

Hardly a day goes by without someone asking me how they should feel about France. Now, please bear in mind that I’ve never been to France, I don’t know any French people and I don’t speak French. But people know that I’m a deep thinker and generous when doling out the advice, so they ask [...]

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In Defense of Jaywalking in Boston

October 13th, 2009 · 13 Comments · Humor

Once again, the anti-jaywalking forces have been making a lot of noise about the dangers of jaywalking in Boston. According to alleged scientific evidence, more pedestrians are hurt walking in the notoriously jaywalking-friendly city of Boston than in any other city in the country.
I, for one, am virulently opposed to any new efforts to end [...]

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Return to Sender

October 6th, 2009 · 8 Comments · Humor

In the annals of junk mail my most favorite item of junk mail to receive is the charity-provided return address label.
My eyes go all aglow when I spy one of those thick envelopes in the mailbox. I always make sure to open the envelope with extra attention. I must be careful not to rip even [...]

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