But Wait…There's More!

People are always asking me why I give away so many amazing ideas for free.  My answer is always the same: I do it for the love, not for the gold.  Worldwide fame and recognition beats a few million dollars any day.

But I have to admit that today’s idea is so good, so easy to execute and so lucrative that even I have reservations in letting it go for free.  I see the site traffic that comes from NBC Universal and FOX so I know that one of you guys is going to snatch up this idea and run with it.  Oh well.

I present to you…The Infomercial Channel.

What this world needs now more than ever is a 24 hour cable channel that is dedicated to celebrating the art of the infomercial.  There are millions of people in this world (not even counting stoned college kids) that love watching infomercials purely for entertainment value.  I know that I sure do.

I’ve even thought of some initial programming for the channel:

Ron Popeil Classics: The King of the Infomercial would host a show that played old Ronco informercials while Ron provided commentary.  Who wouldn’t love to watch the Veg-O-Matic, the Chop-O-Matic or the Showtime Rotisserie (‘set it and forget it’)?

Biography: A look at the lives of the most famous infomercial stars of our times, for example: Billy Mays (watch his hair get darker!), Mike with the Ugly Sweaters and glasses and the British guy with the suspenders.

Behind the Pitch: Similar to Biography, but for the more salacious characters in the infomercial world.  Obviously the Vince Schlomi/ShamWow episode is already in pre-production.

Face-Off: Real “as seen on TV” products are put to the test to see if they really deliver on their promises.

The Next Infomercial Star: A reality show where regular people compete to become the next iconic infomercial pitchperson.  Judges may include Ed McMahon and MC Hammer.

28 Minutes: A free-flowing discussion with infomercial experts that discusses the craft of making infomercials.

Cele-B-rity Showcase: A snarky pop-culture look at all of the B-list celebrities that have made appearances in infomercials.  Now, I’m not naming names, but ‘I pity da fool’ that don’t watch Cele-B-rity Showcase!

As you can see, the programming possibilities are endless!

The best part of the Infomercial Channel is that ironically it’s commercial free!  We’ll just sell blocks of time to current infomercials to fill out the schedule.  So the channel will be a mix of new infomercials, classic infomercials and infomercial related content.

So what do you think?  Is this an amazing idea or what??

(This essay, originally written in April of 2009, is dedicated to Billy Mays and Ed McMahon, two wonderful pitchmen who were both done too soon.)


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