You don’t know me, but I’m your brother.
And as such I just don’t understand why you hate me so. Why, Michael, why?
Let me explain.
Every time I buy tickets to a concert where you’re slated to appear something happens and I end up not seeing the show.
At first I thought I was suffering from a Steely Dan curse. Even though we’ve seen the “Dan” a couple of times over the years, twice I’ve had to ditch tickets to Dan-related shows: once because we couldn’t get a sitter and once because Donald was sick and we were out of town for the make-up date.
But now that I’m forced to ditch our 2nd row center tickets for your upcoming show with Boz Scaggs and we’re still planning on seeing Steely Dan perform Gaucho live in July, I realize that YOU’RE the problem. Don’t try to deny it – I know that you were touring with Steely Dan when we missed that show.
Truth be told, we’re not terribly upset over missing your show with Boz. At first we were really excited. You know that we see Boz every chance we can, we scored great seats and we thought it would be nice to see you open up the show.
Then the tickets arrived in the mail and we discovered a shocking thing – your name was listed first. It appears that Boz is opening for YOU.
Seriously? How is that even possible? No disrespect intended, but Boz is a million times better than you.
Michael, I love your voice. You were great in the Doobies. You were great with Steely Dan. You even have a handful of decent solo hits. But I know Boz Scaggs. I’ve loved Boz Scaggs. And you’re no Boz Scaggs.
In disbelief, I asked everyone in the office who they thought was a bigger star. Sadly, I work in an office full of 25 year olds who had never heard of either of you. But you’ll be happy to know that among my peer group they all favored you over Boz.
Eh. What do those idiots know anyway?
Let’s figure this out sports sections style with a head to head matchup:
Boz has a beautiful and flexible voice that has aged perfectly. He has the range to cover blues, jazz, standards and disco-flavored pop.
Michael has one of the most iconic and memorable voices in rock history and still sounds great, even on weak-ass Motown covers.
Boz is an excellent blues-guitar player. Although he keeps a lead guitar player in his band to handle most of the heavy-lifting he still graces us with a smoking solo or two every show. That cat has gorgeous tone.
Michael is a master of the Casio, a decent but unspectacular keyboard player.
Boz fills 2 CDs with well-known and well-loved hits from all phases of his long and illustrious career. There is absolutely no filler on his Greatest Hits collection. For a (very brief) moment he was the biggest star in the music world. I own his entire discography.
Michael’s greatest hits album is 50% filler even with some Doobie Brothers hits included. I hate to admit it but I skip at least 6 songs (out of 18) on the disc. I mean, “Jah Mo B There” is the 4th song on the album for Jah’s sake. In fairness, the good songs are awesome, though.
Boz was a member of Steve Miller’s band before going solo in the late ’60s.
Michael made the Doobie Brothers great, added wonderful background vocals to Steely Dan’s best albums and recorded many famous duets as a solo artist.
Final Score: 2-2
It’s a tie! Sweet Georgia Brown! I never saw that coming!
Well, Michael, I guess we’ve got nothing to argue about after all. I hope you have a great time in Boston. Catch a Sox game. Take Boz on a Swan Boat. Eat a lobster roll at Neptune Oyster.